19.3.10

dearest blackerry,

just a shell of what you once were.
please, show me a sign.
a glimmer of an intention to return to the technological wingman you once were.
your fogged up screen and these occasional flashes of your red beacon are foreshadowing something more like a slow and deceitful affair... like you have chosen another (the bberry-afterlife or bafterlife)...
say it ain't so.

remember when i needed you and you were there?
like every minute that i have been awake since we were connected?
and even when i have been asleep? like a guardian angel.
you: the gatekeeper to my communications in all of its various tricky little forms.
you would take these emails, texts, bbms, updates and inquiries and file them away for safekeeping while i shut-eyed with the security of knowing you were storing the worlds communications for me until the next business day?
remember?
remember when i became obsessed with foursquare two days ago? checking in periodically in an effort to start a series of mini-mayoral campaigns. beaming my gps from your little hard-drive to the world. our exact location pinpointed and broadcasted through your connection to the satellites so far off in space. that was teamwork. you and me and the ever-evolving-social-network-innovators.

yes i realize that going to spice route was a bad decision.

but you and i and foursquare know that that is not something i do often. and, in fact, shouldn't that be a feature of yours to send me a note, knowing where i am, that says
"sarah, out of character decision, bad idea, please divert to WIDE OPEN on spadina"

?
but where were you then? you're always there with the "convenient" alarms when i am late for an appointment and reminders of unpleasant obligations, but never a preemptive suggestion like that.

one that would have likely resulted in a few too many stiff vodka sodas and a slightly longer walk home BUT with you safely nestled in my pocket.
instead.
staring at you lying still at the bottom of the basin...
deep in the porcelain abyss in that dark boutique-bathroom stall, i sensed the end was near.
and now look where we are...

i will buy you a new skin.
i will charge you nightly and not let you run into the red zone where your precious lil'light turns green begging to be plugged in.
it could be just you and me.
like old times!
what do you say?
bberry?
hello?