dearest blackerry,

just a shell of what you once were.
please, show me a sign.
a glimmer of an intention to return to the technological wingman you once were.
your fogged up screen and these occasional flashes of your red beacon are foreshadowing something more like a slow and deceitful affair... like you have chosen another (the bberry-afterlife or bafterlife)...
say it ain't so.

remember when i needed you and you were there?
like every minute that i have been awake since we were connected?
and even when i have been asleep? like a guardian angel.
you: the gatekeeper to my communications in all of its various tricky little forms.
you would take these emails, texts, bbms, updates and inquiries and file them away for safekeeping while i shut-eyed with the security of knowing you were storing the worlds communications for me until the next business day?
remember?
remember when i became obsessed with foursquare two days ago? checking in periodically in an effort to start a series of mini-mayoral campaigns. beaming my gps from your little hard-drive to the world. our exact location pinpointed and broadcasted through your connection to the satellites so far off in space. that was teamwork. you and me and the ever-evolving-social-network-innovators.

yes i realize that going to spice route was a bad decision.
but you and i and foursquare know that that is not something i do often. and, in fact, shouldn't that be a feature of yours to send me a note, knowing where i am, that says

"sarah, out of character decision, bad idea, please divert to WIDE OPEN on spadina"

?
but where were you then? you're always there with the "convenient" alarms when i am late for an appointment and reminders of unpleasant obligations, but never a preemptive suggestion like that.

one that would have likely resulted in a few too many stiff vodka sodas and a slightly longer walk home BUT with you safely nestled in my pocket.
instead.
staring at you lying still at the bottom of the basin...
deep in the porcelain abyss in that dark boutique-bathroom stall, i sensed the end was near.
and now look where we are...

i will buy you a new skin.
i will charge you nightly and not let you run into the red zone where your precious lil'light turns green begging to be plugged in.
it could be just you and me.
like old times!
what do you say?
bberry?
hello?

flying refined is an understatement

i realize that winkreative (the AOR for porter airlines) is trying to be modest. meek. classy.
but the understated nature of this whole "flying refined" messaging blows my mind. they really could skew blatantly arrogant and no one would contest. a la:


"the best airline"

"choosing to fly another airline could mean you're a masochist"

"our staff is the best looking in the sky"


i understand the tone and personality they are going for, but it's completely unnecessary.
anyone who has ever worked in advertising knows this is a very rare and fortunate position to be in. when you are far and above a category leader that you needn't worry about the legalities of making such kinds of claims.

and anyone who has ever traveled porter knows its true.
especially people traveling from toronto where pearson is the alternative.

lets run through the experience briefly:
the airport is conveniently located right downtown. walking distance for some. 10$ cab for most. free shuttle if you like. FREE.
once there you take the comfortable and short (2min) ferry ride to the terminal where your line to check in will likely be 5 minutes from arrival to completion. you and the 4-10 other people checking in will go through security with the same speed and within minutes you will be sipping free cappucinos, nibbling on shortbread and enjoying free wireless in the cozy lounge as you await boarding.

because of the capacity of the planes, boarding is quick and painless and you are in the air within 30-45 minutes of having arrived at the porter ferry dock on the mainland.

once in the air you are offered a variety of complimentary refreshments from water, coffee and tea, to wine and locally brewed steamwhistle. Sandwiches, chips, cookies and other treats are also offered at no charge.

the rest of the flight pretty much goes as you would expect. clean up. trays up. sometimes the landing is a little abrupt, but they're small planes so that's TBE.

and then you're there and 9 times out of 10, your luggage is waiting for you on the carousel when you get there as if to say "what took you so long? i flew porter, did you come with air canada?"

they do it right. and i say it every single time i travel with them.
point being - i seriously think they should consider saying it more themselves.

why wasn't ski ballet at VAN2010?

i loved VAN2010 like nobody's biz, but where was SKI BALLET (proper terminology = ACROSKI)?

remember this? .... wise choice VANOC. (highlights at 1:35, 8:40)